


You played around, thought yourself so smart(I never though that you’d break my heart)

by OnyxSphynx



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Body Swap, Future Fic, Gen, Kinda, M/M, Summer of Gotham, elemets of the Dark Knight trilogy, fear toxin, kinda angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 08:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15335535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnyxSphynx/pseuds/OnyxSphynx
Summary: There’s no gods-damned way for the Bat to have fallen in love with him- no way he could’ve. And that mark, the red slash of pigment- he’s only ever seen it on another’s skin once.





	You played around, thought yourself so smart(I never though that you’d break my heart)

**Author's Note:**

> For week 7 of Summer of Gotham: Body swap, fear toxin

There is a flicker, and then, it appears again. Jonathan sighs internally as he feels the familiar miasma of horror float of it, wondering when his mind will stop playing tricks on him. It moves, blade in hand and Jonathan stops his instinctive flinch. 

It cocks its head. "Why do you not move?" Its voice is deeper than he had expected, almost the same as-

no.

"Ah, and now my mind chooses to speak!" Jon laughs bitterly, spreads his arms wide, "well, have at me- go on, stab me, it wouldn't be anything new." The sentence rings in the small, dark apartment room, like a sharp metal blade dragging across a steel surface.

“...what?”

Jon rolls his eyes, really, “You aren’t fooling me- I know a hallucination when I see one, pretender.” Disgust. “My mind is so....was so fixated on gaining your attention that I never thought to check my sources. Ra’s al Ghul...he tricked me. He left me to carry out his dirty work, to take the blame for him. And now, my mind, once brilliant can barely summon up anything other than pity,” he sneers. Advances on the figure, eyes wild. “Because that’s all I ever deserved. And my mind conjures up- you, in a wild attempt to remind me of what I once had. Of who I once had.” 

The floor seems to be tilting, and Jon’s so tired, tired of this, this thing he’s become, half sane and three million miles into Hell. “Just...go,” he says, tires, hands dropping to his sides and unclenching. Weary. 

It looks at him, once, and the darkness flickers, for a second, pity shining through, before it disappears, taking his will to live along, out the window into the dark, cold Gotham night, leaving an icy breeze behind.

* * *

 When Jon awakes, it’s in a dark room. Damp. His head swims, muscles screaming when he moves, and. He cracks his eyes open. In front of him, not an empty Fear Toxin container, but a huge computer screen, off. When he raises his hand, slightly, he flinches, the dark, Kevlar-like material cloaking his arm, his hand, his entire being like a nightmare.

Jon bites back the scream clawing at his throat. Tries to calm down. This would hardly be the worst thing he’s experienced while dosed. He tries to sit up. Nearly empties his stomach, bile rising in his oesophagus like dark waves.

“N-no,” he whispers, hoarse, deeper than he’s expected, and. Fear. Fear, for once, of what is and not of what isn’t. Rips off one of the gauntlets on his- not his arm, stares at the red tally mark on the back of the wrist, uncomprehending. Scratches at it, tries to claw it off to no avail, the red mark showing through the bleeding skin. “No,” he repeats again, “no, no, no nononono.” Because-

That’s his mark. His mark on the Bat’s wrist.

no.

It can’t be true.

There’s no gods-damned way for the Bat to have fallen in love with him- no way he could’ve. And that mark, the red slash of pigment- he’s only ever seen it on another’s skin once.

When he was younger, foolish. Naive enough to think that he could ever have anything good- could ever be happy.

The last time Jon saw that line on anyone else’s skin- the only other person’s skin he’s ever seen it on before, save his own- it was

Bruce Wayne.

Billionaire. Playboy. Kind. Lover. Loyal to Jon, or so he’d thought.

Isn’t it nasty to have your illusions of others shattered? And, make no mistake, walking in on Selina Kyle with Bruce pinned to the bed beneath her, half naked, whip in hand, did shatter him.

Shattered his trust. Left him to stumble, dazedly, to his room, pack his stuff and leave. Leave forever, leave behind the person he’d fallen in love with, whom he’d though respected and loved him in return. Left him in ruin, heartbroken, lead him to create the Fear Toxin and lead him to Ra’s al Ghul.

Some days, he misses what he had. Achingly. Others are spent in a stupor of drugs or alcohol, anything to numb the pain.

Exhausted, he slumps back, falls asleep, cowl on.


End file.
